Seeing What People Say

The subject of body language keeps popping up in my life of late. As a result, I have spent some time dwelling on the connection between body language and the work place. Personally and professionally, we often hear the words, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” This statement has more to do with quick judgments made on physical appearances than body language. Reading someone’s body language goes well beyond the first impression. Therefore, is there a career advantage for individuals that can “read” people? Are actions really louder than words?

Let me share an example from my life. When my father was three days old, it was discovered that he was deaf. My grandmother, not wanting her child to be different, refused to allow him to go to a school for the deaf or to learn to use sign language. Instead, she taught him to read lips and subsequently how to speak clearly so that he could go to public school. My father continues his public education and in high school becomes part of the football team because of his ability to read the opposing team. He then completes his public education and goes on to college to receive his BS and MBA. While working on his education, my father partners with his father in an established auto parts store. After sometime, my father opens his own parts house. When my father retired, several of the vendors and customers he had worked with over the years, were startled to find out that my father is deaf. They had only just now learned of this news when I shared his life story. I wondered how this could be. Then it dawned on me. What others would consider a handicap was a super power for my father. Because he was not allowed to be different and one of his senses was missing from his personal-interaction toolbox, he just developed a new one. My father had the benefit of not being able to hear what someone was telling him and therefore “listening” to what their body language was saying instead. No wonder my father has enjoyed a life of success and popularity. My dad is a motivational listener. He actually “listens” to people….to what they are really telling him.

So ask yourself again, do individuals that can “read” others have a career advantage? Do actions really speak louder than words? I have to believe so from my father’s personal experience. Therefore, I have spent time in my life honing in my “other listening” skills. I took a lesson from my father; I turn off my ears for a moment and “listened” with my eyes when engaging with others. Sometimes, I find myself “listening” too much with my eyes and not enough with my ears, so I shut my eyes. If you want to sharpen one of your senses, then take one of the other senses away and force yourself to adapt.

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Comment by Stephanie Young on August 4, 2011 at 11:10am: Thank you, Julie. My Dad is an amazing man and it all started with an amazing Mother. It tickles me to see little Randy and know that he is blessed to have a mom who gets it. His determination makes me smile every time I see him.

Comment by Julie Heilman on August 4, 2011 at 10:33am: Stephanie, great share. Having a son with Down's Syndrome has changed my perspective. So glad to hear that another mother raised her child to be a dynamic person who was not limited by a handicap but blessed with a super power.

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 21, 2011 at 12:11pm: Marsh, I knew you had to be my brother from another mother!!!! I can't think of a sponsorship I would enjoy more.....wink. Gentlemen, you are the best band mates ever!!!!!!!

Comment by Jim Kristoff on July 21, 2011 at 12:07pm: Playing the piano and drinking good wine.......SURE...I am in too!!

LOL............

Comment by Marsh Buice on July 21, 2011 at 12:06pm: I am in...I can get Pinot Grigio to sponsor us!!

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 21, 2011 at 12:05pm: Marsh, I have this vision right now.....Bobby on the drums, Jim on the keyboards, Joe on the bass guitar, you on lead guitar and I am rockin the mic!!!! Hmmm......who can we get to sponsor our tour bus???? LOL

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 21, 2011 at 12:02pm: Thanks, Bobby!!! I might just have to add it right to this blog......thanks DE for giving me an edit feature!!!!

Comment by Marsh Buice on July 21, 2011 at 11:55am: @ Bobby, love the "motivational listener" on point!!!

@Stephanie, that's what I love about dE; we get so much from each other--it's like a jam session but I cant play crap.

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 21, 2011 at 11:47am: Thanks, Jim!!! It is amazing how cool my Dad has become now that I am an adult...lol.

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 21, 2011 at 11:46am: Marsh, it was listening to you that I came up with this post....so thank you!!! I use to work with a manager that would caution people, "If Stephanie is quiet for a period of time, don't worry. She is listening with both ears and both eyes." I find it difficult to slow day and pay attention. When I am able to be an active listener, I find I am far more productive and able to get right to the core of the matter. I also have something to borrow from you...."Body language is like a submarine....quiet, elusive and nuclear." LOVE IT!!!