Fixing by Feeling Your Way

In a previous blog, I told a story about my father being deaf and how this becomes a superpower for him in business. (To read more on this back story, please visit “Seeing What People Say”) I had no idea what a gift my father had given me during my childhood until I became a working adult in a hearing world. I spent most of my childhood playing on oil stained floors and building things out of nuts, bolts and other parts I found lying around my father’s parts house. Being a precocious child, I followed him around asking question after question. How does this work? What is this for? What happens when you push this? One day while attending to my job as the underfoot question asking machine, I followed my father into the mechanics bay. He closed the hood on the car and laid face down on it. As soon as he stood back up, an urgent voice asked, “Daddy, why did you lay down on the hood of that car?” He went into an explanation about how cars are like people; they are living and breathing machines. “I was listening to the car’s heart and lungs by feeling how it vibrates, so I can help fix the car,” was his last words before he turned and went looking for a part. It was there in our family owned parts store that I discovered my father had another super power. I know this kind of sounds like the movie Transformers, but I assure you he has not built an alien robot nation. However, he did at that moment transform my way of seeing the world.

When I got my first car, my father taught me how to take my car’s pulse. Not to just listen, but feel my way around her. Today, I drive a car with an encased engine that I choose not to mess with. When I “feel” something wrong with her, I have a conversation with my service advisor about what I “feel” has happened. Often the service department will rely on diagnostics to tell them what is wrong with a car, but diagnostics are like lab results in a hospital. You still need to take the pulse of patient. Feeling and listening to the car is part of fixing the problem. With that said, just like a flat tire on a car, there are situations in life that are easy to diagnosis and respond to. Other experiences in life may be as complicated as discovering the buzzing sounds that keeps coming and going from under the dashboard.

When faced with tough situations, go beyond listening and start feeling. This super hero power is called empathy. We live in a world in which it is easy to be disconnected. Think about it. How often is your conversations with a family member who does not reside with you happen via text messages or emails? The art of empathy is often lost in today’s enterprises. We avoid being in touch with our feelings and truly knowing ourselves as individuals. When this happens, it becomes difficult to relate to others. When you add empathy to your interpersonal toolbox, you have greater access to a direction and resolution for those tough circumstances in life.

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Comment by Stephanie Young on August 4, 2011 at 12:57pm: Thank you, Carrie for the contribution. Experience does upgrade but does not limit our ability to have empathy. Empathy is part of building a relationship and is a decision to acknowledge the emotions of the human condition.

Comment by Stephanie Young on August 4, 2011 at 11:11am: Julie, I appreciate the comment. Empathy should come standard but it seems to be a super power for those who have it. Randy certainly has great empathy for everyone he meets...despite his young age.

Comment by Julie Heilman on August 4, 2011 at 10:35am: Another great share. I always marvel at how much empathy my son with Down's Syndrome has. He loves life and everyone in it with great passion. What a great super power to have.

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 26, 2011 at 2:01pm: LOL@Jim....but really, I think the cartoon Wonder Woman cape is so me....it has flair!!!!

Comment by Jim Kristoff on July 26, 2011 at 1:24pm: There are MANY different kinds of capes!!

Which one would you like Stephanie???

?????????????????????

LOL....

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 26, 2011 at 1:06pm: Marsh, I think I need to get a writing cape. Hmmm, MOM!!!!!. Some people write with a special pen, have to have a cup of coffee or some other ritual.....I am getting a cape. LOL Seriously, I think empathy should come standard in a toolbox for success. Every time I have found myself stuck in the muck with a client and I employ empathy, it is amazing how quickly both the client and I are able to turn the deal upside down and get the ball rolling again. Just by saying, "I know how you feel. I have felt that way once and...." the big picture begins to change and we are back on the same page.

Comment by Marsh Buice on July 26, 2011 at 12:46pm: I swear you write with a cape on---Wonderwoman!!! What a great addition to your blog about your dad! Empathic living is what we should all strive for. Isn't is amazing how technology has connected our lives to one another yet disconnected the empathy that builds those meaningful relationships.

@ BC great words of wisdom brother. You are the Yoda of the Blacktop.

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 26, 2011 at 11:17am: BC, I like it!!!

To find empathy for others will create opportunity for solutions...

The key is to tune into others and get out of self...

Comment by Stephanie Young on July 26, 2011 at 11:16am: Joe, thank you. Now if you asked my high school teachers if I had writing superpowers, they would in unison reply...."NO!"....I am a late bloomer....lol. Thank you for the compliment but I am a creation in the making still.

Comment by Joe Clementi on July 26, 2011 at 11:07am: Excellent job bringing the story to life! You must have writing superpowers?